Slowing it down

I wish I could slow things down in my life and focus on what is important. I think that for a while, I have been struggling with not seeing things that are really important, like my kids and family. I have been only seeing that my house is dirty, or that I need to do laundry, or that I have to get ready for Joey's party this weekend. Somehow I focus on those things instead of playing with my boys and making sure they are doing things like practicing sitting up or feeding themselves. What is more important? Clearly the children are, but when things of the house are making you nervous and anxious, its hard to just forget them.

I never seem to get anything done. I never feel accomplished in my house which leads to not feeling accomplished in my life. I don't ever feel like I do anything that is important. Sure, taking care of the kids and making sure they are emotionally and physically safe is important, but other than the kids, I don't feel like I don't do anyting worthwhile. I barely ever finish anything. I have so many unfinished projects in my house. Quilts, baby clothes, organizational projects, and so many other things just don't get done. Is it because I choose to not do them or is it that I don't have the time. Many people ask me how I do it. How I run a house and have 3 kids under 2 (not for long.) The truth is that I don't really do it. I raise my kids, but if someone would come into my house unannounced, I would be so ashamed with what it looks like. It's so cluttered, dirty (as in crumbs on the floor, stains on the carpet, and old food wrappers on the table), and disgusting (nasty dishes in the sink that have been there for weeks.) With things like the dishes, I try to ignore them as long as I can. I act like if I don't see it, it's not there. Wish that was the truth, but it's not.

What is the happy medium? I guess if my husband worked with me on a regular basis on cleaning/picking up the house, it would get easier. I wouldn't feel like I have to do it all and do it when I could be possibly spending time with the kids and doing stuff I want to do. Boy would I love to do some things just for me. My life isn't about just me anymore though. Its about my kids. I need to slow my life down and find things that I can enjoy with the kids.