Dr Google? and my doctor visit

The internet is an awesome thing. It can help you find old high school friends, it can help you get directions to the place you are travelling, and it can also give you a tutorial on how to make a quilt. It can also make you go insane thinking you have some sort of incurable disease.



I used Dr Google a few months back. I was having alot of symptoms that I couldn't explain. I talked with my mom and she said that I needed to look up some stuff about hypothyroidism. So I searched and I reasonablly thought I had it. On some sites, there were lists of about 15 symptoms that if you had them, you most likely had hypothyroidism. I had 11 of those 15 symptoms. So I decided to call and make and appointment with an Endocrinologist. That is so much easier said than done. I wanted to go with a doctor that knew my mom's history becuase family history of any thyroid disease is very important. I decided to go with mom's doctor. I tried to make an appointment with her and it was hard. I mean really hard. No one there wanted to see me because no one officially referred me. Well with my insurance, I don't have to have a referral. Tthen they said that they didn't want to see me because I didn't have a diagnosis. Well duh people, that is why I am coming to you! After jumping through some hoops, I finally got an appointment. 3 months later! I have to wait 3 months to see a doctor?

In the mean time, I am miserable. SOoooo tired, can't focus, so many ups and downs in my moods that its rediculous. I was withdrawn with most people, unlike my normally outgoing self. I don't like doing the things that I normally do. I was so overwhelmed and no matter what I did, I kept gaining weight. Needless to say, it was a rough 3 months waiting until my appointment.

About a month before it, I started a countdown and every time I remembered, I made sure to tell mom or some of my close friends just how many days I had left. I seriously thought that when I had my appointment that it would completely change my life. I thought I was going to go in there, she would listen to my symptoms and family history, and she would automatically prescribe me some medication that would cure all my problems and I would never look back at my hard life before this appointment.

I was so wrong. So so wrong. I went into the appointment with a feeling of anxiousness because I would have to finally talk to someone and tell them all the problems that I have been having, not only for the past few months, but for the past 7 years. Its hard to sit and tell someone all your weaknesses. I was very vunerable and open to this stranger. She sat there and listened as I explained it all, all the while crying through the whole appointment. In the end, she palpated my thyroid and pretty much said that she didn't think that anything medically was wrong with me. She in short, said that I was overweight and depressed. What? That was my diagnosis?

So she insisted that I see my doctor for some depression medication. I don't disagree with her on that. I am overwhelmed and most likely have some Post Pardum Depression, but I don't know how having PPD would make me have problems for the past 7 years. It hurts most of all. I know that she is concerned about my emotional well being, but um, what have I been going through for the past 7 years and she is only focusing on what I am going through RIGHT NOW? Its like she listend to part of what I said, not all of it.

Mom went back to see her for her check up this past Friday and the doctor voiced her concerns about me then. Mom got to tell her from her point of view what she thought about it all. I ohpe the doctor listened to her since she obviously didn't listen to me.

For right now, I am on some medication for my depression. I am fine with that. If it makes me stop feeling how I feel now, I will do it. We will just see how things go. I hope that if I don't have hypothyroidism, I can figure it out. With our without my nemesis/friend, Dr Google.